Ilakiya heard the murmur but didn't react. Instead, she focused on preparing breakfast for Suresh and herself as he got ready for work. As she sat down to eat, she couldn't help but feel a sense of disappointment. She knew her mother-in-law, Mrs Meera, was growing impatient, as she had been hinting at the possibility of a grandchild for weeks now.
Mrs Meera said, "Ilakiya, I had hoped this month is the month for us to finally hear good news."
Ilakiya replied, "I understand your excitement, athéy, but we can't rush these things. It will happen when it's meant to happen."
Mrs Meera sighed, "I know, I know. I just can't help but be eager to hold my grandchild in my arms."
Ilakiya smiled, "I understand. And I promise, as soon as we have any news, you'll be the first to know."
Mrs Meera nodded, "I'll hold you to that."
The truth was, Ilakiya was still a virgin. Initially, it was her idea to postpone the consummation because she was still reeling from a heartbreak. She had loved Anbu deeply and had been devastated when their relationship ended.
However, she had made up her mind and got over her ex soon after that. But she didn't know what was on Suresh's mind. She had tried hinting at him a few times, but it seemed like he wasn't interested.
At one point, she tried spooning with him, but he had just cuddled with her and fallen asleep. Ilakiya had felt rejected and was left wondering what was wrong with her.
She said, "Suresh, is everything okay? You seem distant lately."
Suresh replied, "I'm fine, just a bit tired from work."
Ilakiya nodded, "Okay, just let me know if you need anything."
At another time, she had tried changing clothes in front of him in the nude, in the hopes of getting him excited, but he had just looked at her and then continued fiddling with his tablet. Ilakiya felt embarrassed and ashamed.
She thought, "Maybe he doesn't find me attractive anymore. Or maybe he's in love with someone else."
Ilakiya knew she needed to talk to Suresh about her concerns, but she didn't know how to bring up the subject without hurting his feelings or starting an argument.
She was determined to confront him directly and have an open conversation about it. As soon as she finished breakfast, she walked into the room where Suresh was getting ready for work.
"Baby, I want to ask you something," she began, trying to sound as calm and confident as possible. "Remember on our wedding night when I told you that I would let you know when I was ready? Well, I'm ready now. I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm ready to start trying for a baby."
Suresh nodded while humming without replying. He turned to her and smiled. "We don't have to rush now," he said. "You've got to finish your chambering and graduate. I'm working on my promotion project now. You're still young and we have all the time in the world."
Ilakiya felt a sense of disappointment. She couldn't help but feel like they were delaying something that they both wanted.
"But your mom seems to be impatient," Ilakiya pointed out. "She's been hinting at wanting a grandchild for weeks now. And my parents are also asking when we're going to start a family."
Suresh reassured her, "Old timers are like that. They'll keep pushing you to the next progression in life. We don't have to stress ourselves about that. Let's focus on our careers and our future first."
Ilakiya understood, but she couldn't shake off the feeling of disappointment.
Suresh noticing the discomfort, pulled Ilakiya close and kissed her passionately. "Don't worry too much, baby," he said. "If my mom makes you uncomfortable, I'll talk to her. But now I've got work to attend. I'll see you in the evening."
Ilakiya nodded, understanding that Suresh had a point, but still feeling a sense of disappointment. She watched as he left for work, thinking about how they would navigate their desires and the expectations of their families.
After he left, Ilakiya also changed and left for work. On the way to work, she kept thinking about her conversation with Suresh, replaying it in her mind and analyzing it from different perspectives. She thought about the different ways they could balance their desire to start a family with their career aspirations, and how they could address the expectations of their families. Ilakiya made a mental note to talk to Suresh again once they both were free and try to come to a mutual understanding.
As she reached her workplace, Ilakiya decided to put her feelings aside and focus on her work. She was currently doing her chambering practice at a legal aid center and had been assigned a case of a couple seeking divorce. Ilakiya was representing the husband in this case.
She spent the morning going over the case details and preparing her arguments. As she studied the case, she found that the wife was seeking a divorce because the husband was infertile. Ilakiya couldn't help but feel a pang of empathy for the husband, as she herself had just had a conversation with her own husband about starting a family.
She knew that representing a client in a divorce case could be emotionally taxing, but she was determined to do her best and provide her client with the best representation possible. Ilakiya took the time to understand her client's perspective, and his reasons for wanting to save the marriage despite his infertility.
She prepared her arguments, highlighting the emotional and financial contributions of the husband to the marriage and how his infertility should not be the sole reason for the divorce. Ilakiya also emphasized the importance of communication and finding alternative options such as adoption or surrogacy to fulfill the desire of starting a family.
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